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In stories, the opening scene is super important. It must capture the attention of the reader like a constricting snake and refuse to let go. This scene must make the reader say to himself/herself “Wow, that’s really interesting; I wonder what’s going to happen next?” If you can get the reader to do this at the beginning of your story, they you were successful, and likely the reader will read the rest of your story.

This first scene that captures the attention and curiosity of the reader is called The Hook. Some authors will consider the first sentence as The Hook, but I like to think of the first chapter as The Hook. That’s because readers will typically give you 15-20 pages before they consider throwing your book in the basement or giving it to the dog as a chew toy.

In all of my books, I’m always terrified that someone will read the first chapter, feel uninterested in the story and put the book aside. That’s the worst thing that could happen. So, when I write my stories, I spend a lot of time on the first chapter, and the first sentence, making sure my Hook will get the reader interested and excited.

FIRST SENTENCES:

First sentences are super important in your hook. It sets the tone of your book, lets the reader know what to expect, and is hopefully interesting enough that they’ll read the rest of the page. I like to think of the first sentence as the bait on the end of the hook.

In the current book I’m working on, called Magic’s Curse, the first sentence is this:

Samantha Reese was running for her life . . . again.

I’m hoping the reader will ask, “Why is she running for her life?” and “What does again mean?”

In The Giant’s Giant:

Brianna frowned; it was the kind of frown that creased her face with deep slices of frustration and rage and sorrow, the unfairness of the situation enveloping her soul.

With this sentence, I’m hinting to the reader that something’s going on with Brianna, and it’s totally unfair to her. We’ve all been in a situation like that and can empathize with her, but what is the situation???

In Wither Invasion:

The dark wither’s six eyes glared down at the monsters and villagers with vicious contempt, their willingness to live in peace offending every inch of his black, skeletal body.

I’m trying to show the reader that the antagonist is a Wither, not a very nice monster in Minecraft, and he’s angry that monsters and villagers are living together. Why are monsters and villagers living together? That’s weird. But why is the wither so mad about that? There must be something going on here that we don’t understand yet.

First sentences are super important in your hook, and you should spend time coming up with something good. But don’t make the mistake of waiting to write your story only after you’ve created a smokin’ hot first sentence; that can stall the entire writing process. Typically, I’ll write the first sentence, hoping it’s good (usually, the first attempt is fairly terrible), then I write the rest of the first chapter. After I’ve written the first chapter, I’ll go back and think about the first sentence.

Below are some examples of some AWESOME first sentences:

In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.
The Hobbit by JRR Tolkien

It has been sixty-four years since the president and the Consortium identified love as a disease, and forty-three since the scientists perfected a cure. 
Delirium by Lauren Oliver

I’d never given much thought to how I would die – though I’d had reason enough in the last few months – but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this.
Twilight by Stephenie Meyer

I’ve watched through his eyes, I’ve listened through his ears, and I tell you he’s the one. 
Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card

Look, I didn’t want to be a half-blood.
Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief by Rick Riordan

Things had been getting a little better until I got a letter from my dead sister.
Dead Girls Don’t Write Letters by Gail Giles

Here is a small fact: You are going to die.” 
The Book Thief by Markus Zuzak

THE HOOK:

Now to the all-important Hook. Whether you’re writing fiction, like I do, or writing an essay for school, or writing an article for a website or magazine, or . . . you’ll want a strong hook to keep your readers reading. When I write my hook, I try to have it accomplish a couple of different things.

  1. Get the reader engages, quickly, with Action and Dialogue, or Action and Dialogue drives ever story! Don’t have lots of descriptions. Don’t give backstory. Keep the chapter moving.
  2. Insert conflict and tension early in the story. I want the reader to know, this is going to be an exciting story, so you better buckle up and hold on tight.
  3. Hint or show that there’s a mystery here. Think about The Lego Movie. Its hook was showing Emmet going to work in this incredibly unique world of Lego characters and lego constructions . . . that’s really interesting.
  4. Pose a question the reader must answer. Give the reader something interesting, I mean really interesting, that will make the reader continue reading so they can find the answer. For example: Why is that boy living under the stairs? What kind of family would do that to him? Or R2D2 and 3CPO going on a secret mission to Tatooine after their spaceship was captured . . . what’s going on here???

Here’s the first chapter from my 24th Minecraft novel, Wither Invasion. I hope you can see how I’m using Action and Dialogue right away, and I presenting some of the 4 items above:

Wither Invasion – Chapter 1

     The dark wither’s six eyes glared down at the monsters and villagers with vicious contempt, their willingness to live in peace offending every inch of his black, skeletal body. Krael, the wither king, was still furious about being bested by that pathetic boy-wizard, Watcher, who had stopped Krael’s army from leaving this world so they could invade the Far Lands and exact some revenge on all the NPCs (non-playable characters) there.
     “That idiotic wizard probably thinks he defeated us,” Krael’s left skull said, its voice scratchy and filled with perpetual rage.
     The center and right skulls nodded.
     “He will soon learn his mistake.” Center glanced at the left, then right skulls, his eyes glowing with rage. All that skinny little wizard had done was delay his plans . . . but not stopped them. “But first we’ll practice some tactics.”
     Krael glanced at one of his nearby generals and nodded his three skulls. Moving silently, the three squads of withers floated toward the cluster of wooden buildings, descending behind the boxy oak and birch trees that covered this section of Minecraft, hiding their approach. His ground forces beneath him held their position; this was a test of his air force.         The army’s test would come soon enough.
     “Come here, by my side, Kora.” Krael glanced at his wife. “Let us watch our troops execute a three-pronged attack.”
     “Yes, husband.” The wither floated to her husband and hovered next to him. “Will the villagers be able to see us?”
     Krael shook his skulls. “The moon has not risen yet. Our black bodies will blend in with the night sky and—” He stopped speaking as the attack commenced.
     One group of withers moved into the village from the east, launching flaming skulls at the pathetic NPCs and monsters, their detonations punctuating the silent night like rapid-fire thunder. The NPCs quickly pulled out bows and opened fire, shooting at the dark creatures. As instructed, the withers fell back as if startled by their resistance, allowing their enemies to move forward, confident of their victory.
     But then another group of withers advanced from the west, these monsters hovering high in the air, using their presence to terrify those below. When the NPCs and monsters on the ground saw the new group of withers, they clustered together in a small group, standing back to back, ready to fight in both directions. The two groups of floating terrors slowly moved around their enemy, coming together south of the village, all eyes focused on them. The monsters and NPCs never saw the third squad of withers sneaking up behind them from the north. When the withers from the north attacked, so did the rest of the flying monsters; they bombarded the group of pathetic NPCs and traitorous monsters, each wither sending their flaming skulls down at the creatures. A massive explosion occurred in the middle of the village, carving a deep crater where the NPCs and monsters had stood, sending up a huge cloud of smoke and ash and debris. When the air finally cleared, none were left standing, only glowing balls of XP (experience points) and items from their inventory littering the ground, marking their graves.
     “Well done!” Krael shouted. “Destroy the rest of the village in case any are hiding in the buildings. Leave nothing standing.”
     The floating monsters bombarded the village, crushing homes and buildings until only smoking ruins remained.
     “They did well?” Kora asked.
     “They followed the battle plan exactly as I instructed.” Krael smiled. “That will be the tactic we use on that annoying boy-wizard and his friends. We’ll lure them out, distract them with a second group, then smash them from both sides, as if they were in a vise; it’ll be glorious.” Krael laughed with vicious glee. “The wizards during the Great War, centuries ago, tried to exterminate us, but they failed. This time, we won’t give the NPCs the same opportunity; the villagers, led by that runt, Watcher, will never get the opportunity to raise an army and try to destroy us again. We’ll squash them all, then destroy the Far Lands, just for good measure. Destroying all villagers is the only way to guarantee our safety.”
     “But husband, how will we leave this world and get back to the Far Lands?” Kora sounded confused. “That scrawny wizard, Watcher, destroyed the portal that would have allowed us to leave. We’re stuck here.”
     Krael gave his wife a knowing smile. “While all of you were imprisoned in the Cave of Slumber, I read many books and learned the secrets the arrogant wizards tried to hide. Their egotism caused them to write much of what they did in books, explaining their tricks and traps for future generations, hoping for fame.” Krael smiled with pride. “But I found their books and read their secrets.”
     He laughed. “The great wizard, Tharus, the most powerful of wizards, didn’t trust his companions. He wanted a way to escape from this world in case the monster armies came looking for him, so he built his own portal leading to the Far Lands and hid it somewhere in Wizard City. We’ll find that portal and use it to sneak into the Far Lands, and once we’re there, we’ll hunt the boy-wizard and destroy him. After Watcher’s destruction, the Far Lands will be ours, and all the villagers will be our prey.”
     Many of the withers shouted with excitement, some launching flaming skulls into the air.
     “Follow me, brothers and sisters. We head to Wizard City, to fulfill our destiny!”
     Krael smiled at his wife, then floated off to the west, a huge army of withers in the sky behind him and an even larger army of distorted and disfigured monsters on the ground. The creatures glanced up at the wither king and growled excitedly, then followed, moving quickly across the landscape.
     Scanning the skies and glancing down at the ground, Krael smiled with pride at the size of his army. “Those pathetic idiots in the Far Lands will cower in fear when they see my army, then beg for mercy . . . but they’ll receive none.”
     “Good!” Left added, his voice scratchy and filled with anger, as always.
     “We must be cautious,” Right warned, her lyrical voice soothing Left’s rage a bit. “There is more than one wizard for us to face. Watcher is one, but there are the girl and the old woman as well.”
     “I agree, my husband,” Kora added.
     “Have no fear, Right.” The center skull’s voice boomed with confidence. “By the time we reach the Far Lands, we’ll have even more monsters in our army. I also have a little surprise to add to our air force; something I read about many years ago.” He glanced at the magical crowns glowing on Left and Right’s skulls. Center wore one as well. “Once we are in the Far Lands, the Crowns of Skulls on our three heads will give us more power than anyone has ever seen. With that and my little surprise, those three wizards won’t stand a chance.”
     Left and Right both laughed with Center as Kora smiled at her husband, pride filling her eyes.
     “Let’s get moving!” Krael shouted at the monsters around him. “The last one to Wizard City will be destroyed!”
     Hearing this, the monsters on the ground and in the air all moved as fast as they could, each knowing Krael, the king of the withers, would make good on that promise.
     “I’m looking forward to seeing Watcher again . . . we have a debt to settle.” Krael glared at the distant horizon as he sped toward their goal: Wizard City.

So in the chapter above, I introduce the antagonist, Krael, and hint at his plan, that they want to get to the Far Lands and take revenge on Watcher, a character that most of my readers love. It is my hope that this hook will get the readers concerned about Watcher, as this is the last book in the series, and will want to see if the withers are able to find the portal that will take them from their current world and to the Far Lands. I’m making a lot of promises here to the reader, I MUST deliver on these promises, for that’s what readers expect.

I can’t stress how important The Hook is to your story. You’re making a promise to your reader that your story is interesting, or exciting, or heart-breaking, or . . . so you better deliver. But if you write a weak hook, the reader won’t care if you deliver or not, because they’re using your book to line the bottom of their parrot’s cage.

Write a great hook!

Mark

 

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