While attending a writer’s conference last year, I was introduced to the idea of writing about the physical effects of emotion on a character. In most of my Minecraft-inspired novels, I’d say, “Gameknight was overwhelmed with fear.” Or “Fear coursed through his veins.” Or “His nerves were aflame with fear.” All of those are great, because they tell the reader what I want them to learn, that Gameknight999 is afraid, but I really needed to do more.
What I learned from the conference was, I need to show how the fear makes the character feel. I need to show what’s happening to their body, so the reader can feel it with the character. This is a powerful technique that can draw the reader into your stories and make them feel alive!
So let me rewrite Gameknight and his fear.
Gameknight stared at the mob, looking but not seeing, his mind a blur. A knot settled into his stomach, feeling heavy, like a load of bricks . . . and it seemed to be growing. He wiped his clammy hands on his pants as his pulse raced faster and faster, his heart threatening to explode. He was terrified.
You see how I used sensory details to show the reader what Gameknight was feeling . . . that’s important. It puts the reader into the story, so they can feel with Gameknight. It pulls them in and keeps them engaged with the adventure.
The hard thing about using this technique is to come up with the sensory details associated with the emotions you want to use. This is where 
you need to close your eyes, and put on your imagination cap, and put yourself in the situation about which your writing. Think about a time when you were afraid . . . what did if feel like. What was it like when you were uncertain, or confused, or . . . Think about these things and make a list, that’s what I’ve done. I have my list hanging next to my
computer, and I refer to it all the time. There are also some books, like the Emotion Thesaurus, or websites like https://writerswrite.co.za/cheat-sheets-for-writing-body-language/.
I made a couple of posters for teachers to put in their classroom, shown below; hopefully these will remind your students to include physical sensory details when showing emotions. The download link is HERE.
Mark
I have one!
Shadow glared at Shaxen. His eyes red and heart aflame, he screamed at a terrable pitch and teleported behind him, knocking him to the ground. His soul enraged.
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I don’t even now who Shadow and Shaxen r, but I can tell u this, I won’t want to get on Shadow’s bad side. (or is his bad side his only side?)
Who are Shadow and shaxen? Where are these characters from?
this is the epitome of helpful!! thank you. i am currently writing my novel and i need help writing character emotions in a realistic fashion :))
:))? it should be:
^v^
Does it count as a physical effect if the character’s eyes literally glow when they are angry?
that’s more Visual Imagery, but it’s just as important and a good thing to include.
Herobrine? I am not an idiot
Who said you were an idiot?
Where is the link to downloading the posters.
Sorry, I found it.
That really helped my novel, here is a line:
“‘EVERYONE GET IN THEIR HOUSES!’ Yelled the mayor of the village sweat jumping down his neck.”
oops i duplicated it. its the one under.
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That really helped, A LOT, here is a line from one of my novels i’m making:
“‘EVERYONE GET IN THEIR HOUSES!’ Yelled the mayor of the village sweat jumping down his neck.”
Mr. Mark, can I please use the example you placed in my story? thank you
of course!
Probably definitely not this or anything like this: Mike attacked Cory.
Probably something close to this: Mike attacked Cory, becoming a blur of anger and rage. Terror surged through Cory, and she started to run, fear pushing her forward.
(By the way, I completely made up these samples.)
Did I get it correct?
That’s close, but instead of telling the reader that Mike is angry, show it.
for example: Mike’s heartbeat raced as he clenched his fist. The muscles in his neck and jaw tightened as rage pulsed through his veins.
You see how I used sensory details to SHOW the emotion.
Who are Shadow and shaxen? Where are these characters from?
Mark, your example is a bit much. It’s not too much, but it’s a little much. I like it anyway, though.
His heart pounded against his ribs, sweat drenched him, though he couldn’t have gotten much wetter, the rain made sure of that.
An overdose of adrenalin had his senses on overload, he heard everything, smelled everything, saw everything.
He was terrified.
I wish I had writing tips like this when I was younger. This is amazing, keep nurturing young writers! It’s encouraging to see and brings a smile to my face.
That’s a great example of sensory details . . . great job!